yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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