I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
youre lurking in front of me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I could make wine with my vomit
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
