I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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