i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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