If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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