4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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