His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
