Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
