Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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