You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
