shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
