He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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