I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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