They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
