He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize