It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wow bdsm is so cute
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