Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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