Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize