even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
