We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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