why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize