you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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