i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
