i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and she was petting her beer can
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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