if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
