2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
