I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
