wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
