But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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