She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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