dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
