well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
