I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
