Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize