How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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