Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
