No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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