She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize