I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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