I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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