and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
