were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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