i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
