my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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