Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
