I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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