pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
