Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
