But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
