I want to make a zoo with you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
