We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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