D3 body, D1 cock
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
