No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
