i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
