im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
