Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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