Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
