naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
