escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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