yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
wow bdsm is so cute
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
