Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
birth control should be required to get into college
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
