I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
