I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize