Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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