I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
