I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize