It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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