so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
