Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
