okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
