Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have surprise drugs for everyone
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
