We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize