The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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