Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
