just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
