would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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