forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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